How to Deliver a Good Eulogy

Ensure a Good Eulogy

You may have been asked to deliver a eulogy. There are steps you can take to ensure a good eulogy – one that comforts the living and honors the decedent.

Eulogy dos

• Keep the eulogy brief. Strive for approximately 5 minutes. A long eulogy may make mourners uncomfortable. It will also impact the overall schedule of the funeral.
• Ensure that your eulogy helps the spirit of the deceased live on in the memories of your listeners.
• Describe the deceased’s best qualities.
• Provide some anecdotes by way of illustration. Stories evoke memories and form memories. Ex. You might recall the time you met the decedent or asked the decedent for help. Use examples to which other mourners will relate.
• Be yourself. Speak honestly and in your own words about what will be most missed about the deceased.
• Think carefully before using humor. Avoid any humor at the decedent’s expense – including inner jokes or family jokes. Ex. Don’t joke about how frugal the decedent was.
• Consider note cards to ensure that you cover your desired points.

Eulogy don’ts

• Don’t present a chronology of the decedent’s life. This information is more appropriate in an obituary.
• Don’t feel shame if you are overwhelmed by emotion. It is perfectly acceptable to pause or excuse yourself.
• Don’t focus exclusively on your relationship with the decedent. This may seem self-centered.